I can wholeheartedly recommend the Travelodge at Lancaster.
The rooms are basic in the extreme, not to be confused with 'in extremis', but considering that thousands of vehicles were
hammering past on the M6, it was like I’d stepped into Narnia. Indeed, it was
so quiet and comfortable that I overslept. Not a good start for the longest leg
of my journey home. I realised that I wouldn’t have made it to my usual petrol
stop in Gretna, so I drove into Lancaster itself. Almost immediately I wished I
hadn’t, but I did quite accidentally find a Sainsbury petrol station so cheap fuel
and nectar points were a real bonus. The route back toward the M6 would have
taken me South so I headed up the A6 towards Carnforth instead and was rewarded
with some fantastic views over Morecombe Bay.
A longs
days’ drive, interrupted only by an impromptu visit to a branch of HSBC in
Perth, concluded at my overnight stop at ‘The Weigh Inn’ in Scrabster near
Thurso. Here I was again surprised by my accommodation. Guests parked in a
square surrounded by what looked like storage containers on four sides. Each
‘container’ had four doors in it. I was not confident of what I would find
inside. Despite my doubts, the rooms were absolutely fine. I was knackered and
not wanting a repeat of the previous night I asked Gail to phone me in the
morning. I didn’t want to miss the ferry but mostly I didn’t want to miss
breakfast. I don’t get to enjoy kippers and poached eggs much.
The
Pentland Firth that morning bore little resemblance to the body of water I had
crossed only six days previously. Again I assumed that the captain would head
for Scapa, but au contraire! I faced a wobbly spectacle of the Old Man of Hoy
from a bucking deck. I couldn’t help thinking of how Gail would have fared, so
I captured the view on her phone for her to enjoy. I would have to ensure that
I had a bucket on standby when I showed it to her. Having reached Stromness, I
took a stroll to get my land-legs back. The town always looks closed to me so I
explored the harbour instead and found the ferry to Hoy, which I am determined one
day soon to take to the Scapa Flow Visitor Centre and Museum at Lyness. I also
found the RNLI shop and museum. It was even open!
I had
five hours to wait before my final ferry crossing from Kirkwall to Loth Pier.
Whilst in Kirkwall, I went to the Library and registered. A mobile library
visits all the islands in the group so books can be returned without getting
your feet wet. I borrowed two books and spent half an hour on the internet . After
lunch, I couldn’t help having a stroll around the branch of Didldidi. It was
intended to be a perusal, but there was so much interesting stuff around for
not much loot I had to grab a basket and go mad. The prize find was a box of chocolate
covered marshmallow in a ‘Super Dickmanns’ stylie. (If you don’t know then you
haven’t lived!) I still got change of a tenner for a basket full. Perhaps if
I’d given in to temptation and got the electric drill set then it might have
been worth breaking out the plastic.
 |
| They probably have them up in every library, but it made me laugh. (Courtesy of those nice people at Calm-o-matic.) |
Needless
to say I had plenty of unloading to do when I got home. From garden shredder to
tins of paint, the shed and stables filled up with stuff. It was good to be
able to fit the rear seats back in the car to make it look less like a van. The
starlings were glad to see the Skoda back, too. Within four days they’d built
another nest in the engine bay and laid two more little blue eggs.
As the
temperature reached double figures, Gail was keen to get into the water at Bay
of Lopness. Sooner or later we would have to try the kayaks out but I’d be
reluctant to do so without experience of just how chilly the North Sea was. I
donned my wetsuit and carried snorkel, goggles and fins over the dunes and onto
the beach. Together, we waded out, Gail just in her cozzy. It was brass monkeys
out there, but after a while, I could catch my breath and swam out. After only
a few minutes, I headed back to the sand and found Gail cackling hysterically.
She was having a wonderful time in the breaking waves, oblivious to the chill.
I put on my snorkelling gear and headed back out into deeper water, where it
got even colder. I kept on finding myself being spun around, but as it’s such a
wide bay that there is land about three quarters of the way round. I guess it
was therefore kind of inevitable that I’d be facing land whenever I lifted my
head above the surface. It’s better than the alternative, I suppose. I could
follow my progress by watching my shadow on the sea bed and had the feeling, at
times, that I had company. Although I could see no other signs of life,
occasionally it appeared that other shadows would dance around my own. It was
disconcerting to say the least, as Gail was playing in the wake many yards
away. Soon, I looked up to see her getting out of the water so I headed back
before she caught a chill. It was all brilliant fun. Next time I’m out I’ll try
to find somewhere to place my lobster pot.
Back in
a gardening frame of mind, I sowed some dwarf pea seeds indoors, planted out a
box of mixed vegetables that my little
sister had bought for us quite a while ago now, thinned out some leek and
cabbage seedlings and planted out a couple of squash plants in a raised bed
away from the house. They turned out to be sacrificial lambs, however, as the rabbits
munched all the secondary leaves off them and then kicked soil up all over
them. When I checked on them a day later I scared off a rabbit, which scared two
more, that each scared off two more. The exodus continued to escalate as I
made my way through the garden until it began to resemble a helicopter view of a huge herd of
wildebeest crossing the Serengeti. The ground practically
shook. I exaggerate of course but if there was any justice in the world it
certainly would have done.
The
next morning, after reading in bed for quite a long time, there followed a
profound sense of guilt at letting a sunny morning pass me by, so I got up to
find that it was not even seven am. I decided to take my frustrations out on an
old sofa that the previous occupant of the house had left behind, with a heavy
lump-hammer. I went around the stable block to get the hammer and woke up a
slumbering Siamese-like cat lying in one of the doorways. It was pleasing that
our guest stayed for a fussing before stalking off toward some rabbit holes to
find its breakfast. Upon arriving back indoors I heard a bee in distress in the
goat room. At the risk of sounding like a coward I will admit that the glorious,
industrious and beautiful beasties frighten the bejesus out of me. After getting
over a period of running around, shrieking and general panic, I resolved to
rescue the poor chap. When I placed it on the grass outside, it seemed to be on
its last legs, so I smeared some of Gail’s Sanday honey on a small dish in
front of it. When the little tongue came out to lap up the sweetness, my
optimism grew. It was amazing how quickly the peedie thing became energised.
Within minutes it had enough get up and go to get up and went, while I adopted
a very smug and self-satisfied air. Me and Dolittle could have been twins. After
that it was an effort to get fired up to give that ragged bit of furniture a
good, old-fashioned tonking.
 |
| Redefining 'cute'. |
I can do destruction. It’s
creation that I have trouble with. At present, everything I’ve planted in my
garden has died. In order to be able to keep a closer eye on things, I created
six more raised beds right outside the door, where I hope the local wildlife
will be too afraid to come. I even got into the Jubilee spirit by pairing up
two red fishing crates, then two white ones and finally two blue ones out of
the stock of them that had been lying about the garden. It’s true that they
look a lot like the French tricolour, but any resemblance is purely
coincidental. Each bed is the correct size to be covered by a pane of the
windows that Everest will be removing in late June. Perhaps then something will
make it to maturity. It’d be nice if something around here did. ;-)
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